Here it is a Sunday, I feel like letting loose with a big exhale. I finally have finished a first pass at everything on Little Boy and Fat Man bluelines are due back tomorrow.

Phew!

Add to that there’s been some rather dramatic personal upheaval in my life as well - isn’t it funny how stuff like that always happens when you’re really, really busy. I’m not going to elaborate on it now (the upheaval) except to say it doesn’t seem to have elicited what I would have expected (emotionally from me) so, I’m curious to see how everything will pan out. Is it denial (not just the river in Egypt - I couldn’t resist)? Or is it just a better, more healthy way of handling things?

Speaking of which, I’m still coming to grips with myself (which sounds a little odd and implies self abuse) - trying to understand the machinery of my personality and how I operate in the world. I still haven’t figured that out yet and it causes me problems often. To cop to more cheesy song lyrics, “oh please, don’t let me be misunderstood”

Over the last few years, I find I’ve been struggling mightily with the things life has thrown at me. There’s been a bunch of job changes, some deaths in the family, a major illness, injuries, all kinds of things. I never feel absolutely comfortable with the things in my life or how I’m handling them - I always think I should do better. I am doing better than I would’ve years ago but, caught up in the bubble of the present, I lose my perspective.